Just like you, I'm not what I appear to be. I'm much deeper and vaster (just like you!). It took awhile to realize this. Years ago, I met a spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle, (before he became famous) and stayed as close as possible. I couldn't not do that. My heart wouldn't let me. I attended everything possible that he offered, wherever it was!, (and worked for him for a few years) and held a strong intention for a 'quantum shift in consciousness'. As a result of this love and commitment and through Grace, something happened. Well, actually and truly, nothing happened! I realized who I am. My real Self. Not who I thought I was! And, I discovered that I'd been here all along. I now know the Source of my Being and I know who/what I am, that I Am. This is a deep knowing, beyond thinking and beyond concepts & beliefs. It's a deep sense of Presence, of a constant connection to the Source, to God. And just like us, God isn't what he/she appears to be, either!
I live in Vancouver, Canada with my Love, Tomas. I hold Stillness Meetings, which I love! I share what touches my heart.
May you be blessed with all that touches your heart deeply.